Author: SB

I’ve worked with a herd of horses almost daily for over a decade. The friendships I’ve nurtured with each and every horse bring me so much joy, but the relationship I’ve nurtured with myself has been the gem of growth and personal power.

Working with and for these magnificent horses for all these years has given me perspective on how being consistent (and persistent) have completely changed my life. The insight into how a consistent practice over long spans of time and persisting in the face of perceived failures or unmet expectations, is not only a guaranteed recipe for success, but actually a self-love project.

I call it a self-love project because over time, a deep sense of happiness mingles with the accomplishment of sticking with something and committing to get better, regardless of my inner judge’s opinion of circumstance on any particular day! It may be because horses are so forgiving of all my mistakes, or maybe that they take so much work to care for…but either way, it is a relationship that combines love, respect, hard-work, humility, joy, and silent communion into a unique recipe just for me!

I wish I had one story that illustrates this transformation, but truly the story is in the thousands of miles in the woods together, thousands of buckets of horse feed dished out and flakes of brome hay spread for ‘lunch dessert’, not to mention the millions of piles of poop scooped and kiss for a treat transactions. Consistency’s story is the sum of every detail. every act of service, and even all the failures.

The self-acceptance required in moment after moment of rapidly changing circumstances and constant care at the barn is humbling. Each detail forgotten or learned for the first time grants me a moment to either judge myself or love myself. Over the years, I have trained myself to reliably choose to love myself! I think the example set by the horses themselves simply slowly permeated my heart and banished my inner judge. Horses try so hard to do what their person is asking until they are mentally tired out. They don’t critique themselves for the their actions or inaction, they simply try again. We humans could take a page out of their book for sure. Our collective self-worth would skyrocket!

One moment comes to mind as the fruit of my practice was after a spring ride down the silty water’s edge of the Knik River in Butte, AK. (Of course, Spring in Alaska just means sunlight once again…the snow and ice, feeling ever-present…still dominate our landscape.)

After riding several miles at the river’s edge, we arrived back quietly nestled between two huge mountain ranges. The horses typically love to roll in the mineral rich black slit found by the river, so I dismounted, thanked my horse Jack for the ride, and removed his bareback pad. In the next breath, down he went for a glorious roll. I could see and feel his joy in grooming himself in the dirt, for finishing the ride, for loving the landscape, and for being with me. When he jumped up to his feet, he reached out with his head and leaned in to place his forehead against mine. That tender moment of offering himself to me is still impossible to accurately articulate. It was an acknowledgment of a shared joy in our experience at the gray silty river that day, but also of our life, the culmination of all that had become our relationship. This moment will remain with me as one of the most powerful ways that joy, gratitude, respect, and love have ever been shown to me.

This moment changed my life. It got me wondering, how do I respect myself? My answer has taken some persistence on my part, but I had the a most consistent partner. My moments at the barn, embracing my family and friends, and by taking quiet moments to remind myself that, like my horse, I am enough and deserve my love just for being me.

What is Coaching Anyway?

Coaching is a helping profession with a specific discipline. It draws on active listening, appreciative inquiry, and positive psychology to name a few. Coaching creates a safe place for you to dive deep while you work towards positive change in your life: at home, at work, and pretty much anywhere where you need support to see yourself more clearly. The sessions are grounded on a co-equal footing between the Coach and the Client. Although it is common for me to give homework and ask for you to complete exercises that will bring our your strengths, the most important thing is that you fully commit to the process of self-exploration within the context of reaching goals, whether concrete or feelings goals.

Coaching gives you a place to be witnessed and celebrated, a place where you can explore roadblocks or safely dig into perceived failures. Coaching empowers you to understand your strengths and use them to create positive lasting change.

Is Coaching Therapy?

Coaching is not therapy. It is unethical to coach someone in lieu of professional therapy, and clients needing therapy will be referred to a licensed therapist. Although coaching is a helping profession, it is not diagnostic and its work is grounded in the future. In some instances therapy and coaching can co-exist, but oftentimes coaching is picked back up as the client gains back a baseline of mental health. Coaching is not a replacement for clinical therapy. Although some aspects of coaching and therapy may overlap, they are different disciplines with different client expectations. I am deeply committed to honoring the mental health needs of each individual and will support my clients in making the appropriate choices of care.

What Does it Cost?

The full price of coaching is $125.00 for a one-hour session, although I have a sliding scale depending on client need. I have experienced the results of coaching and am deeply committed to helping everyone receive coaching and will work my hardest to work with each individual.

Sessions also includes daily emails (if deemed necessary) in between sessions and any homework assignments. Significant discounts are available for package and group sessions.

Coaching is a helping profession that I am passionate about. What I love most are the combined disciplines of active listening, curiosity, and powerful questioning that enable the person being coached to give themselves their own best advice. The environment is supportive and full of unconditional positive regard, enabling the very best to surface.

I have been informally coaching for decades. During the pandemic, I noticed most everybody, and particularly teens, needed a helping hand to learn about themselves and process the rapidly changing and very scary world. Most of the people I was talking to didn’t need therapeutic help, just a safe place to dive deep inside themselves. (An ethical side note, I am a huge fan of therapy and refer out anyone who has a need.) By helping individuals identify and align with their values, I witnessed personal transformations and the heavy weight of fear and stress crumble.

These conversations led me take over a year of classes to get certified as a Life Coach through The Lumia Life Coaching certification process. At this time, I am awaiting approval from the International Coaching Federation (ICF) to receive my accreditation as an Associate Certified Coach and am already a member in good standing in the Washington State Chapter.

Coaching is the profession of hope. Best-selling author and researcher Brene Brown defines hope as a feeling of possibility, affirmation, and potential. She goes on to say, “hope is not an emotion; it’s a way of thinking or a cognitive process. Emotions play a supporting role, but hope is really a thought process made up of what Snyder calls a trilogy of goals, pathways, and agency. In very simple terms, hope happens when We have the ability to set realistic goals (I know where I want to go). We are able to figure out how to achieve those goals, including the ability to stay flexible and develop alternative routes (I know how to get there, I’m persistent, and I can tolerate disappointment and try again). We believe in ourselves (I can do this!).”

Hope is why I coach. I believe in you and your unlimited potential.